Stupid people.

• Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Michael Lynton announced that Internet is pure evil. More specifically he said, “I’m a guy who doesn’t see anything good having come from the Internet. Period.”
• Florida prison guards, in an apparent effort to keep the retirees happy and the children docile, stun-gunned 43 children last week during ''Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day.'' Three prisons stun-gunned children while another facility chose to tear-gas them instead. Three firings, two resignations, and sixteen disciplinary actions have resulted so far.
• The National Inquirer is stopping to (possibly?) new lows. A freelance writer working for The Inquirer checked Brooke Shield’s demented mother out of her nursing home and drove her around hoping to prompt the confused woman to tell a juicy secret of her daughter’s.
• Two Yellowstone Park workers were fired after a web cam caught them peeing into a geyser. They also face charges.

"[...] Give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour [...]"

Some really hilarious quotes come from this interview with former wrestler and Minnesota governer Jesse Ventura, including, "[Water-boarding] is torture... It's drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you -- I'll put it to you this way, you give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders."

Ventura also rips on Bush 43 and Norm Coleman, the man Ventura defeated in his gubernatorial campaign.

killing time at work

I really liked this article, which is basically a roundup of thoughts on how the recession is affecting New York.

The parts I found especially interesting are about how the negative psychological effects of being laid off are carried with you for years to come, and that being laid off now hurts your income potential 10 years from now. From personal experience, I can tell you that while I’m in a MUCH better place emotionally than I was during my three months of unemployment, the depression I felt then still sorta hangs with me (the article calls it “scarring”). The piece also discusses a study revealing that kids who graduate college during a recession have a lower earning potential throughout their entire careers than those who don’t (great). In the end, though, you get to read about John Sexton being verbose, creating absurd acronyms, and – one can only assume – hugging the reporter.

Motherlover.

Another entertaining SNL digital short.

Just kill the fucking series.

I can't even begin to share my problems with this: Maggie Simpson, voiced by Jodie Foster, spoke her first complete sentence during a re-worked version of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead.

Strangely Badass III

This week: Scott Altman. Altman is a Navy test pilot and a NASA astronaut who was among the four pilots who flew the military jets in the Tom Cruise movie Top Gun. Oh, and he is the mission commander of what the Daily Mail is calling NASA's "most dangerous ever shuttle mission."

The mission, known as STS-125 and scheduled to launch tonight (May 11), is intended to repair the Hubble telescope in order to make it useful for another five years. There are, as there must be with such an introduction, a few catches.

1. No ISS-cape: Unfortunately, "Due to the inclination and other orbit parameters of Hubble, Atlantis would be unable to use the ISS [International Space Station] as a 'safe haven' in the event of structural or mechanical failure" ("STS-125"). NASA's solution? Have a backup shuttle and crew ready to launch in the event that something goes wrong, a step taken for the FIRST TIME EVER.

2. Russian roulette space-walks:"During five highly risky spacewalks, [the astronauts] will clamber aboard Hubble to repair and replace instruments contained inside, upgrading its capabilities and prolonging its life for another five years" (Daily Mail). Five times is a lot of times to risk your life 350 miles above the surface of Earth.

3. The little things: "[The astronauts] will face major hurdles, such as unscrewing dozens of minute screws while wearing gloves five layers thick and removing razor-sharp circuit boards capable of piercing the $10 million spacesuits that keep them alive in the vacuum of space" (Ibid).

4. The good guys: John Grunsfeld, another of the astronauts slated for the mission, seems to be the type of guy you do not want to spend eleven days around in a cramped environment. While others are reserved and saying, "The adrenalin is certainly pumping," or, "This is really going to be tough, the toughest servicing mission we have ever attempted," Grunsfeld has chosen to pump out metaphors of difficulty allowing people to fully understand how awesome he is. So far he has said the mission is like "performing brain surgery in space" and stated that he "[considers] this the climbing Mount Everest of spacewalking missions." (Ibid)

Somehow having a guy from Top Gun save the Hubble makes me think we are getting one step closer to a real-life Armageddon. I hope Altman can complete his job as well as Bruce and Ben completed theirs.

Damn it. I hate taint.

Source: The Week

I was always angry that steroids tainted the competition of Major League Baseball to some unknown degree (I would definitely be less angry if the level of impact were known exactly), but it was always indirect for me--no important Red Sox player had ever been implicated (I say important because we did have the occasional visiting scumbag like José Canseco). Now steroids have tainted one of my favorite memories to some unknown degree as well, and there is nothing ever to be done about it. For the sake of both the quality of baseball and your (Katie and Chris, the only non-Boston baseball fans I know of who read this blog) own enjoyment of the experience, I hope that by the time the Cubs and the Cardinals next win there is a meaningful drug testing system in place.

Is this true?

A post over at The Atlantic says that the New York Times has not yet used the word torture when referring to any tactics used during the Bush 43 administration. Does anyone know if this is true? If so, what other major publications have avoided that word? Have any of them publicly stated why they do not use that word, or what, for them, would constitute torture?

One more thing: the post further says that the Times did use the word torture, but only in the obituary of an American who was tortured (using the same techniques as the Bush administration approved) while a POW in Manchuria during the Korean War.

A fascinating look at some banks.

Update: The link to the WSJ graphic is now included. Sorry about that.

The Wall Street Journal has posted a great "interactive graphic" that compares the 19 stress-tested banks on a number of criteria including new capital needed, tier 1 common capital ratio, and amount of TARP funding received.

A related aside: I love complex graphics along these lines and don't think that the value of such graphics can be overstated when one considers the graphics' ability to convey different depths of information for those of different intelligence and interest levels. Nate Silver does a great job with his graphics, for example "A Starry-Eyed Look at the 2012 Republican Field." The most cursory glance tells you nothing more than which candidates are present and which candidates might be similar to one another simply because there is little distance between them (basically the level of focus shown by someone who just wants to pretend to be smart around others, e.g. "I'd say Huckabee, Romney, Jindal, and Palin are the favorites."). The next level of information gets into actually looking at those axes and understanding what they imply. The third level takes into account the size of each bubble: the larger the bubble the greater the public support for that candidate. Finally, one can, as Nate suggests, consider the implications of the political 'gravity' exerted by each of these 'planets.' That is, one can imagine that when one politician gains support (that is, his planet grows) it must be pulling that support from elsewhere (that is, exerting a political gravity on the supporters of the other planets, pulling them away).

Honestly, this post did begin as a quick post only focused on that banks graphic; it spiraled out of my control once I started talking about the always riveting topic of graphics! I hope it all made sense.

The two worst weddings ever.

For the longest time I though that the Versailles wedding hall disaster (see video above) was probably about the worst way a wedding could end: 23 dead, 380 injured, one building destroyed.

As it turns out I really did not think hard enough about other awful ways a wedding might end. Sure, there are the obvious terrible outcomes like a no show on the part of the bride or groom, or the denouncement of the marriage by family members, or maybe a heart attack death caused by excitement. Then there is the unexpected: the wedding that re-ignites a decades-old blood feud and leads to an assault on the wedding by men armed with grenades and automatic weapons.

Known as the Mardin wedding party attack, this occurred in Turkey three days ago and led to the deaths of 44. "[A] combination of tribalism, love for guns, and tradition gone awfully wrong," the attack left the faces of the victims unrecognizable and killed six children. According to the AP (via Yahoo! News), "Two girls survived after the bodies of slain friends fell on top of them during the onslaught."

I don't know about the rest of you, but I think this was way under-reported, and I have no idea why. I only found it because of Wikipedia's news section.

Anyone know of any weddings that ended in ways worse than this?

Crows may knock the great apes down a peg.

As some of you may know, it was shown recently that magpies are self-aware (this was done using the mirror test). This put the bird amongst the small group of animals that fall into this category: "great apes (bonobos, chimpanzees, orangutans, gorillas, humans), bottlenose dolphins, Orcas, elephants, and European Magpies" (stolen from Wikipedia).

Now crows, a relative of magpies in the corvids family ("a group that includes crows, ravens, rooks, jackdaws, jays and magpies" (BBC)), are making a run for the title of smartest animal around. Check out this article by the BBC that discusses tool use and other evidence of meaningful thought within New Caladonian crow communities. If you look at nothing else, check out the first video, in which a crow picks up a straight length of wire, bends it to create a hook on one end, and then uses this newly created tool to reach a bucket of treats at the bottom of a small shaft.

And if you are still interested in finding out more about crows check out this TED talk on the subject of useful things we may be able to train crows to do.

Interracial Marriage ... Gay Marriage ...

... what's next? Polyamorous marriage.
(I'm not sure if I used the right word)

Pakistan, anyone?

So, have I been watching too much right-wing TV, or do I have my story straight when I say that the Taliban's efforts to capture Pakistan (read: a country with a nuclear arsenal) have resulted in them so far capturing a city as close as 70 miles to its capital?

(Here's a really boring article)

Odd Day!

I can't sleep, so why not share trivia with the blog!

Today (05-07-09) is one of only six days this century in which the date (written in the form I used) is made up of three consecutive odd numbers! Odd Day even has its own website!

On a related note, check out square root day over at Wikipedia. We have to wait until April 4, 2016 for the next one of those (both the month and the day are the square roots of the last two digits of the year).

And the final two that I know of: Mole day and Pi day.

Way Back Wednesday

For reasons unbeknownst to be, I've decided today would be a good day for posting a few videos from that "oldies but goodies" category. Enjoy, I guess.

LMIRL.

Check out this hilariously out of touch list of "20 Internet Acronyms All Parents Should Know." One of the acronyms that seems least likely to be used in real life is above-I don't want to ruin the hilarious surprise of what this absurd acronym stands for. The expanded phrase (highlight it to see it) can be seen here: "Let's meet in real life."

Seriously, how many kids might actual use NIFOC ("Nude in front of computer") or TD2M ("Talk dirty to me")? I'd say the over/under line is 2.

Heh - Justice Gore

This article takes a fun little look, knowing that there's no chance, at Al Gore as a Supreme Court Justice ... not really notable except for the fun thought of Scalia et al sitting on a bench with the "loser" of Bush v. Gore.

Honorary Charlie Sheen award.

Some of us had quite a good laugh way back when we discussed Charlie Sheen's amazing life. Well, I would like to doff my hat to a newly recognized member of the Charlie-Sheen-founded "Surprisingly Popular Macho Assholes" club: Silvio Berlusconi!

Although he is known for his ridiculous lifestyle (ranging from plastic surgery to the appointment of models to important government positions), only this week did Berlusconi truly take his act to the top. After his wife publicly threatened divorce, Berlusconi demanded a public apology! In fact, he went so far as to say, "Veronica will have to publicly apologize to me. And I don't know if that will be enough." Well done, asshole.

A Jane Harman Update.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Your Government Not at Work - Jane Harman Scandal
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis First 100 Days

Last week The Daily show aired a hilarious summary (see the above video) of a scandal involving Rep. Jane Harman (D.- California) in the segment "Your Government Not at Work." The simplified version goes like this: Harman, a supporter of the recent semi-legal wiretapping, was caught by that very same wire-tapping program as she told Israeli lobbyists that she would pressure the Justice Department to lessen the espionage charges faced by a number of Israelis if the lobbyists would in turn pressure Nancy Pelosi to appoint Harman to better committees.

Though Harman denies that she actually lobbied for this result, it looks as if Harman's end of the bargain has been completed: charges have been dropped against the Israelis who may or may not have been acting a bit too liberally with state secrets. While it's clear that Harman does not have the pull to achieve this result (somehow I doubt any Representative could kill a Justice Department investigation single-handed), it is nonetheless a very entertaining addition to "Your Government Not at Work."

Jeb Bush will never be president

You almost have to feel sorry for the guy; he is, after all the less incompetent of the two famous Bush brothers, but the name has tarnished his political aspirations forever.

Well, now none of that matters. To be a Republican President you have to be a Republican nominee for president, meaning you have to win a Republican primary.

And if you say it's time to leave Reagan behind, you will never win a Republican primary.