The First Thanksgiving.

A hilarious reenactment of the first Thanksgiving that includes references to small-pox-covered blankets, the Pequot War, and King Philip's War:

A Talented Actress

Taking advantage of coincidence, porn star Lisa Ann has played both Sarah Palin and Tina Fey in pornographic parodies of, respectively, Sarah Palin's life and 30 Rock. Check out the hilarious trailers below .

Who's Nailin' Paylin? (This trailer is completely safe for work.)


30 Rock: A XXX Parody (This trailer is less safe for work due to a few women in skimpy clothing and some swearing.)

Who knew they could get weirder?

The Decemberists are turning The Hazards of Love, their most recent album, into a super-trippy animated film. This should be interesting:

"American Soldier"

Ian Fisher, a high-school senior who decided to enter the army after graduation, allowed a reporter and a photographer from The Denver Post to follow him from the time of his enlistment through his return from deployment. The multimedia series, which includes an in-depth article, photographs, and videos, can be found here. A nice selection of the photographs can be found here.

1M Frames Per Second

The video is very long, and I recommend you skip to random points throughout it, as the type of bullet and the material being impacted are changed. The end features cutouts of animals being hit with barrages of bullets.

Internet Meme Timeline

The title is self-explanatory. Be careful: this site can waste all of your time if you let it.

Send rescue!

Below is a video that includes the 911 call made by a police officer who confiscated some marijuana and baked brownies with his wife. After eating the brownies, the cop calls 911 because he and his wife think they have overdosed and are dead ("Time is moving really really really really slowly"). Highly entertaining, though it makes me question how well police are educated about the illegal substances from which they supposedly 'protect' the general public.

Water slide.

This is a video Katie emailed to some people. I just uploaded it to YouTube and am posting the link. Enjoy.

Apple versus Microsoft.

I can't sleep, so naturally I am splitting time between television and videos on the Internet. I laughed out loud quite a few times watching this ad for a new smartphone that "runs Windows Vista and connects to the Internet through AOL!":


In the interest of a small amount of fairness:

Improved technology.

A new method of storing bicycles (I am not sure this will ever become widespread because of: 1. Complications related to the use of underground space in large cities; and, 2. The negative environmental impact associated with the use of the motors in the parking unit, which offsets at least part of the benefits of riding a bicycle.):


Improved delivery of ketchup and mustard:

One more MJ post.

Footage of Michael Jackson's hair catching fire during a 1984 Pepsi commercial shoot has just been discovered:


As always, I recommend everyone see the four-hour, made-for-TV mini-series The Jacksons: An American Dream, which dramatized the same accident in this way:

Invincible.

Hilariously, Michael Jackson's final studio album was named Invincible. Also hilarious is Michael's melting, whitening, clearly-not-invincible face, shown in its different stages throughout the years in the great morphing video below.

Cats!

Two cat-related stories:

1. The owners of a Kansas zoo allowed their pet golden retriever to raise three white-striped tiger cubs [note: this is the term used in the article I read, though it doesn't really seem right; the animals have black stripes, not white ones] who were abandoned by their mother. The family, seen above, is now being split apart because the cubs have grown large enough that even just playing with the dog the cubs could severely injure her. There are some pretty cute pictures in this slideshow. This MSNBC report includes video:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

2. Riana Van Nieuwenhuizen, an animal sanctuary worker in South Africa, lives "[...] with not one but FOUR orphaned cheetahs, five lions and two tigers. Forty-six-year-old Riana said: 'I love them all. But they're a handful.'" All of the pictures below are shot at her home, where the animals seemingly have free reign.

Strangely Badass IV: Mark Malkoff.

Here are the reasons Mark Malkoff is making this list of strangely badass people:

1. Mark is the audience coordinator for The Colbert Report.

2. Mark visited all 171 Manhattan Starbucks in one day:


2. Mark lived in Ikea for one week:


3. Mark started the first-ever Guns 'N Roses tribute band composed entirely of children. The band is known as Little GNR.

4. Lastly, Mark is living for one month (June 2009) on Air Tran jets to get over his fear of flying. On his peak days he will fly twelve flights. He will sleep overnight on the planes after the other passengers have disembarked.


Mark at one point in one of the videos I have seen also claims to have started the Naked Cowboy in Times Square. I can't verify this and it seems a dubious claim.

Banned cartoon.

As is described here, in this banned episode of Tiny Toon Adventures, "[...] Buster Bunny, Plucky Duck and Hamton Pig find a bottle of beer that never goes empty, then proceed to get drunk, steal a cop car, cause general chaos and collectively die by driving said car over a cliff."

Upgrading your outlook.

This is just one of many versions of this commercial:

Waterboarding is torture.

Well, Hannity is too filled with hot air to follow through with his offer to be waterboarded, but Christopher Hitchens and conservative radio host Erich 'Mancow' Muller have each undergone the treatment. Both lasted less than ten seconds and have reversed their positions, stating that waterboarding is unequivocally torture. Check out the videos (and the associated articles) below (the sound on the Mancow videos is terrible).

Hitchens: "Believe Me, It's Torture"


Mancow: "Mancow Waterboarded, Admits It's Torture"

Video dump.

Rather than a bunch of annoying little posts I have decided to bug you with only one longer one filled with short videos.

Fenway cameraman tells you about his camera and shows you how it is controlled:

Fenway HD Camera - Sony HDC-910 - Canon 75x from Tom Guilmette on Vimeo.

The da Vinci surgical system:


Escalator spinning:


The walking table:


LSD tested on a British army group:

And you think Twittering is rude???

No longer will our lawmakers be obliged to voice complaints through text alone as they listen to the president! In the future these oppressed people will be allowed to use their voices without even having to physically talk. National Instruments is working on the device in the above video, which intercepts signals sent from the brain to the vocal chords and translates these electrical signals into speech. The system currently has only 150 recognized words, but the creators compare this limited vocabulary to early speech-recognition systems. Current applications focus on those who have lost the ability to speak naturally (e.g. those with severe ALS), but someday soon let's hope that our lawmakers will be able to bitch publicly before the president even finishes speaking! Think of the possibilities: Boehner could criticize Barack via Twitter while having a call-in conversation with Hannity about how poor the speech is without ever moving his lips!

Maybe the bright side of this is that soon lawmakers will wear their collars more publicly, perhaps exposing some of the currently-hidden leashes that so dramitcally impact legislation.

"[...] Give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour [...]"

Some really hilarious quotes come from this interview with former wrestler and Minnesota governer Jesse Ventura, including, "[Water-boarding] is torture... It's drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you -- I'll put it to you this way, you give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders."

Ventura also rips on Bush 43 and Norm Coleman, the man Ventura defeated in his gubernatorial campaign.