One more MJ post.

Footage of Michael Jackson's hair catching fire during a 1984 Pepsi commercial shoot has just been discovered:


As always, I recommend everyone see the four-hour, made-for-TV mini-series The Jacksons: An American Dream, which dramatized the same accident in this way:

Invincible.

Hilariously, Michael Jackson's final studio album was named Invincible. Also hilarious is Michael's melting, whitening, clearly-not-invincible face, shown in its different stages throughout the years in the great morphing video below.

Alice in Wonderland.

Check out these pictures of the Mad Hatter, the Red Queen, and the White Queen from Tim Burton's upcoming interpretation of Alice in Wonderland. The characters are played by Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Anne Hathaway, respectively. (Images taken from HuffPo.)

I am worried that this movie will be disappointing in the same way that Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was, but I have to admit that these images give me some hope. Between these visuals and the fact that the film will be shown in 3-D I will likely end up going to see this in theaters despite my reservations. Does anyone know anything else about this project? Any early reviews of the script and casting?

Bad parenting.

"Sometimes I do better with lists," a wise man once said. To that end let's start getting some lists together and vote on who makes the best submission (à la Apples to Apples). The topic for this trial run: awful celebrity baby names. My entries (these are just the ridiculously-named children, not all the kids in each family):

• Zakk Wylde: Hendrix Halen Michael Rhoads (named after Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Van Halen, Mike Piazza, and Randy Rhoads);
• George Foreman: George VI (Joe), George V (Red), George IV (Big Wheel), Freda George George III (Monk), Georgetta, and George Jr. Foreman has said he named all his sons George because, "In this career, you have to prepare for long term brain damage.";
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin: Apple (Paltrow discussing the name: "It sounded so sweet and it conjured such a lovely picture for me – you know, apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical – and I just thought it sounded so lovely and … clean! And I just thought, 'Perfect!'" Bonus points because Apple's godfather is Simon Pegg.);
• Demi Moore: Rumer Glenn Willis (as in Bruce Willis) and Tallulah Belle Willis;
• Frank Zappa: Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan (a member of the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars), Moon Unit, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.

Stupid people.

• Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Michael Lynton announced that Internet is pure evil. More specifically he said, “I’m a guy who doesn’t see anything good having come from the Internet. Period.”
• Florida prison guards, in an apparent effort to keep the retirees happy and the children docile, stun-gunned 43 children last week during ''Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day.'' Three prisons stun-gunned children while another facility chose to tear-gas them instead. Three firings, two resignations, and sixteen disciplinary actions have resulted so far.
• The National Inquirer is stopping to (possibly?) new lows. A freelance writer working for The Inquirer checked Brooke Shield’s demented mother out of her nursing home and drove her around hoping to prompt the confused woman to tell a juicy secret of her daughter’s.
• Two Yellowstone Park workers were fired after a web cam caught them peeing into a geyser. They also face charges.

Motherlover.

Another entertaining SNL digital short.

Strangely Badass II

Last week it was Richard Branson, this week it is voice actor Billy West. Though his name sounds similar to a crappy superhero alter-ego (perhaps I am simply reminded of the name Adam West), Billy West has voiced some of the most iconic cartoon characters of all time. Here's a list of the important roles West has played:

• Doug: Doug Funnie and Roger Klotz (1991-1994, the Nickelodeon version, not the Disney version with the stupid baseball tee version of Doug);
• Ren and Stimpy: Ren and Stimpy (Stimpy 1991 until 1996; Ren from 1993-1996);
• Futurama: Fry, Professor Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Richard Nixon's head, and Zapp Brannigan;
• Space Jam: Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd;
• Scooby Doo on Zombie Island: Shaggy (West was only the second person ever to voice Shaggy);
• Popeye's Voyage: The Quest for Pappy: Popeye (a 75th anniversary movie).

I am blown away by the range of personality types (Ren Höek and Doug Funnie???) and by the presence on West's resumé of both original and mimicked voices (Looney Tunes and Futurama???). I can't even imitate regional accents from around the USA, let alone an imitation of a specific voice.

To be a bit more direct: Billy West is strangely badass because he represents a whole bunch of animated childhood icons jammed into a body that looks somewhat like Richard Kiel (more commonly known as 'That giant guy who had a nail in his head in Happy Gilmore').

By the way, everyone should feel welcome to add some names to the Strangely Badass series.

A peek down the rabbit hole.

Alice may have seen her fair share of craziness down the rabbit hole, but Michael Jackson's possessions make Alice's delusions appear completely normal in comparison. MJ recently scheduled and then canceled an auction of many of his personal belongings, and for a short time the public was allowed to come and photograph the lots available. Among the possessions (no longer) for auction are a painting done by Macaulay Culkin, various statues of MJ and groups of children, a car the hood of which is covered by a painting of MJ in a Peter Pan shirt with Neverland and space in the background, and a letter from Ronald Reagan to MJ thanking him for his, "deep faith in God and adherence to traditional values." The unintentional comedy of each item is fantastic.

Foreign advertisements with Domestic Celebrities

After realizing I left this tab open for the last week or so I decided to pass the site along to you: "12 Best Foreign Celebrity Ads." Let me explain, since editors at The Daily Beast, with whom I have taken issue before, apparently don't care that the title could be taken to imply that the celebrities are foreign. In actuality it is US celebrities making a quick buck in super-foreign commercials. My favorite (below) is Snoop Dogg as a German folk singer.

At least I get to enjoy The Dark Knight.

Many Random Thoughts and Articles

Iowa representative Steve King, who predicted an Obama victory would lead to al-Qaeda "dancing in the streets," now says that he doesn't know why Obama will be using his middle name Hussein in the inauguration, but that his given reason - historical consistency with previous inaugurations - "could not be the reason."

UPS delivered 30 pounds of marijuana to a Texas resident last Tuesday. Two side thoughts: One, I don't know anything about the prices of drugs, but even with my suspicion that marijuana is cheaper than other street drugs out there, I'm surprised at the article's valuation of the delivery at $350/pound. Two, thank goodness that guy didn't have an accidental arrest warrant out.

Last night was Bush's final presidential address. Mostly it's not worth watching, but if you're willing to be overly-nitpicky you can find humor in a couple of spots. At 4:37 he describes, without naming, the two sides of the war on terror. If you pretend the descriptions apply in the opposite way he intended them it's sort of funny. At 6:38 - and again, this is nitpicky - his phrasing leaves me wondering if there were more Supreme Court appointments that I didn't know about. Finally, though his phrasing is technically accurate given his intention, at 9:00 it sounds as if he's using a rather glaring tautology.

The inauguration security force in Washington DC will consist of 42,500 personnel. By comparison, this is roughly nearly 30% of the total number of US troops currently serving in all of Iraq.

Do the results justify the actions? Don't look too much into me mentioning this - I'm in awe of this guy, but it's worth pointing out that yesterday's emergency landing in the Hudson brought a damaged plane within 900 feet of the GW Bridge - for reference, that means it was essentially at the same altitude as the top of the Empire State Building when it passed over the bridge. And that's without considering what would have happened had he missed the river and landed on the island ... On the other hand, I can't really think of any better options, and it's not like the pilot is going to be like "well, there's a chance this may not work out, so I'm just going to crash us in a field for the greater good." Just an observation.

Found this slideshow of "right-leaning celebrities." It's just funny because of how deep they had to dig. And one of their best example, Dennis Hopper, campaigned for Obama anyway.

Finally, a take on Pinky and the Brain that would be funny if it weren't true.