Worst State Ever: Alaska quickly narrows South Carolina's lead

Ah, the sweet smell of racism on a summer's day. The tender breeze that flows by calms and soothes. An unspoken understanding amongst neighbors. One of the last places in the country where a hard-working man could take his family to see a neighborhood lynching down at the old oak tree. And of course that glorious banner, the proud symbol a sweet time long past, the Flag of the Confederacy.

Yes, South Carolina is a woeful shame of a state, there is no doubt about it. You know their education system has got to be fantastic, they've got some of the lowest dental premiums in the country (trust me), and in 220 years, they've only given us one thing we were thankful for.

Yet the first seceder's reign as America's worst state is in jeopardy folks, as the keep-to-itself state of Alaska - formerly in the mid-teens of America's worst - has surged forward, threatening the dominance of the Palmetto State (no, I didn't look that up.)

On July 29, 2008, the great state of Alaska felt ashamed when Ted Stevens, the longest serving Republican senator, was indicted on corruption charges. With his famous bridge to nowhere quickly becoming more and more infamous, Alaskans were turning. Senator Stevens' bid for re-election would have to come to an end and with the charges announced, polls showed the race was over for Uncle Ted (no relation to Uncle Sam or Uncle Tom).

But things would change. On August 29, 2008, Stevens' good friend and future grandmother Sarah Palin was announced as John McCain's running mate. The time for divisive politics was over. The time for mooseburgers in the White House had come.



And so, just as soon as Stevens' poll numbers had crashed quicker than the 2008 1929 stock market, they rose again with Palin's VP announcement. The Senate race in Alaska is again close. Close as well, is the race for the nation's worst state.